UBC - Day 22 - Caring Faith - Tips for Carers

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Welcome to the Ultimate Blog Challenge for today, we are over half way through and I hope that some of the tips that I have shared have been helpful to you.

Faith

My faith, my belief has been the one thing that is constant in my life, it is the thing that lifts me up when I am down, and ministers to me when I cannot see a way.  Because of my faith and my spiritual walk I find the strength to do what I do today.  

When I feel that there is no hope, my faith and belief in God reminds me that  God not only loves me for who I am but he gives me strength when I have had a difficult time with mum and she doesn't want to go to bed to sleep.  He reminds me that when I was ill mum would stay up with me and tend to my needs.  When mum won't eat and I get frustrated cause of the effort it takes God reminds me to let go of the emotional ties to food that I have and when mum is ready to eat she will.

My faith helped me to see mums dementia from her perspective, to constantly ask myself how she must be feeling and to give her space and time to express what she needs and to challenge myself.  When I work to her time there is less need to get stressed about how long it takes or whether or not she wants to do something.

I learnt through faith to be patient, to love unconditionally to be humble, dementia and its affects on lives has humbled me.  It has affected all of our lives in one way or another and I don't take my life for granted and i don't take her life for granted.  Mum can still live a full of grace, peace joy and love.

My faith reminds me that I have to make the most of everything that mum can do and how she is feeling. She still feels emotions though not always able to express how she  is feeling her life is precious in Gods eyes.  As I spend time in his word I am reminded that he gives me strength each and every day.  He will never leave or forsake me.

Art Journal Page

For now, think about your spiritual walk, we do not go through this alone and God will guide you through if you let him.  He will walk by your side in the good times and carry and comfort you in the hard times.  How has your faith comforted you?

You can also click on the 'Celebrating life' image to be taken to the rest of the posts from the Journey of a Carer.

Word for the Week - Psalm 27:4

Dedicated to my wonderful, brave, encouraging, loving Brother Robert, who was also a husband, son, father, uncle, friend, supporter, who was  all the things you could ever want in a brother and then some! Who is truly in the House of the Lord, who sought him and is gazing upon his beauty......

Showing Sekani, Jorrell and Symphonie some moves!

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One thing I ask of the LORD, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the LORD all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD and to seek him in his temple. Psalm 27:4

Longing - Creating in Faith

There are many things if we think about them carefully that we long for.  Some are to make us feel better within ourselves, some for the benefit of other people.  I have come to know and experienced the longing that stirs deep within and that feels like it cannot be remedied - found hand in hand with loss.

 

In my younger days I had many desires, I would have been convinced that some of which I could not live without, and thinking about them now see them as trivial and unimportant. My maturity makes sense of the world and understands how views, and desires change, and in my youth often with the wind.

My thoughts on longing are around the loss of a loved ones - a child, father, best friend and more recently brother.  You wonder how much your heart can take, never for one minute thinking that you will have to bear the callouses of yet another loss.  My longing is wrapped up in wanting to see them again, to say those words that never got said, to feel their presence one more time, to stop for a moment the ache, that dull ache which rests deep within.  There are momentary distractions and life feels like normal, you can breath again and sometimes laugh.  Then you remember, something missing, something you took for granted that it would always be there but you realise a hole remains.  Is it a round peg or a square, whatever shape it is it feels as if there is nothing that can fill it. 

Time they say is a healer it gets better.  I can say that I still wonder what my son Cairo who would be turning 24 this year would be accomplishing and what adventures he would have got up to.  My dad would have been in his 80's there was still so much wisdom untapped and how he would have had so much fun with his grandchildren.  Barbara spurred me on in my journey as an artist we shared much laughter and supported each other, and now my Brother Robert.  I think of him constantly wondering how I can use my creativity to take away the ache, knowing that he would expect me to do all the things I shared with him from my hopes and dreams.  

The longing doesn't go away I guess my you find different ways to respond, and my creativity allows me to say those things I still want to say, and when I don't know what or how I should feel I just stay still and listen.

My faith helps me to put one foot in front of the other taking one day, one thought, one step at a time.  My creativity is helping me to say those things that I need to say whether it is a painting, piece of writing, poetry or something that I have created.  They go hand in hand bridging the gap between the words unsaid, mutterings and groans from the heart, laughter and tears on the opposite sides of the same coin and the understanding that has come over time.

There will always be a longing, we can't hide or pretend.  Some days it will be easier, and others not so easy.  We learn to embrace, to share the memories, to talk about our loved ones as if they are in the next room.  We remember them the good and bad times, the tests and the triumphs and we keep taking those steps reminded of the fragility and remembering to laugh....

Warmth - Creating in Faith

Many of you have been praying for my brother Robert who was diagnosed with Multiple Myeloma and last week I wrote about prayer and how powerful it is.  Your prayers have been a source of comfort, and please continue to lift up the family.  My brother breathed his last breath and passed to be with the Lord on Sunday 2nd June 2013 at 10pm.  We are taking each day at a time to come to terms with the loss and the pain.  It sometimes seems as if time has stood still and he is in another room.  Many of you can understand the shock of loosing someone close, there is nothing that can prepare you for any of it.

I take comfort in knowing that I got to tell him over and over how much I loved him, that we were all there for him, sometimes thinking I tired him out with my chatter.  We warmly remembered our youth and our days of adventures, on our bikes, scooters and riding up to Hampstead Heath.  I also talked about when he got better, watching the kids grow up, walking his daughters down the aisle, like he did for me when I got married as our dad had passed, seeing his grandchildren and more. 

Today, we pick up the pieces, looking at his life and our own, seeing how fragile it can be.  I never imagined that we would get to this day, but know for many of us it will come again.  What it continues to show me is that we can't wait for illness to strike before we let someone know that we love them, or to value the relationships that we have taken for granted thinking that we will always be around.  How many people have you promised to get in contact with but let the cares of the day get in the way and before you know it 6 months or longer have passed?  How many promises have you made to your own health, things that you will start to do in an attempt to get fitter, but have allowed lethargy to take over?

We only have one life to live this side of heaven, and we need to make sure that we do the best we can, we get a chance everyday to find new ways to be present in this life, let yours count for something today!  Have a blessed week.

Please note: for those of you who are considering sending flowers, please instead make a donation to Myeloma UK - via Robert's Just Giving page, Cancer Research UK or Macmillan Cancer Support

Thy faithfulness continues throughout all generations; Thou didst establish the earth and it stands....Psalm 119:90

Wisdom and power are His.  He changes times and seasons... He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to the discerning. ...Daniel 2:20-21

All the ways of the Lord are loving and faithful
    toward those who keep the demands of his covenant

Psalm 25:10